Innocence
by KameronMae
Summary: Elena becomes depressed and withdrawn after she loses all her friends in a house fire. Damon takes advantage of her but soon falls madly in love with her. Stefan gets jealous and aggressive and kidnaps Elena. Will the two brothers fight one another for the love of a human?
1. Fire

Why did this have to happen to me? Why couldn't it have happened to ANYONE else? My life had been torture, but this exceeded everything I had lived through. Actually, I wasn't even supposed to live through this, but I guess you could say I had a guardian angel on my shoulder.

"Ma'am," the officer addressed me, "Could you please explain again what happened?" Her tone was very soft, almost soothing. I was angry; I had already explained this three times, why did I have to explain it again?!

"I've already told the other officers what happened. I don't have any more details!" My tone of voice was stressed, very anxious. This was a situation no one wanted to be in. Hell, I especially didn't want to be here! The officer wasn't fazed by my tone, I knew she had dealt with worse, but hell hath no fury like a teenager who just witnessed half of her friends die.

"I know, I know. But, I would like to hear the story coming from you. I'm not just an officer you know. I'm actually a licensed therapist, which I guess you could say is a weird combination." She chuckled trying to lighten the mood. It didn't work, not by a long shot. There was no reason in the world to be in a cheery, happy mood right now.

"Fine, you want to know what happened. It started out as a normal night. I had picked my friend Jessica up from her house, and we were supposed to go to this party. Since I had my license, I was basically the designated driver for anyone who needed a ride home," the officer looked at me astounded. Almost as if she had never heard of teenagers drinking. "Yes, there was booze," I continued, "I didn't plan to drink that night because the SAT was tomorrow morning and I didn't want to be hung-over. So anyway, we get to Matt's party and it's a mad house. There are people everywhere, some naked guy passed out on the couch, teenage couples making out everywhere, I was immediately uncomfortable. Something felt wrong to me, so I suggested to Jessica that maybe we should leave and go home. I had only been to a few other parties, but they were tamer than this one…" I took a deep breath, trying not to panic again and relive what happened. "Jessica just told me that I needed to chill and try and have fun. I decided that she was right, because I actually can be kind of uptight. So we found our other friend Michelle, a girl we had both known since we were little. She was already blacked out drunk by this point so I suggested that we take her upstairs to Matt's parent's bedroom and let her sleep it off. Jessica agreed and she helped me carry Michelle upstairs. We put her into bed, covered her up, and then left the room. I told Jeremy what we had done and he said that it was fine, as long as she didn't puke all over his parent's bed. Jessica and I went back down stairs to rejoin the party and then suddenly Jessica melted into the crowd. I was nervous, I had seen my other friends here, but not since we walked in."

"Okay so you're telling me you arrived with Jessica, there was booze, but other than that everything seemed normal?" She questioned.

"No, everything didn't seem normal. Sure, it seemed like a normal party, but something just felt weird." I shifted in the cold padded chair, tugging the blanket around my shoulders for comfort. "Now I was there by myself, Jessica had left me, I couldn't find my other friends, and I couldn't really do anything. By this point I was seriously considering leaving. Screw driving my friends home, I didn't want to stay here and be miserable. Next thing I know, I'm out on the front lawn and I hear this loud creaking noise followed by the smell of what I thought was gasoline. Then, I thought I heard someone say "Oh shit!" and then someone grabs me and throws me aside really, really fast. I hit my whole body on the side of the car and I felt immense pain…" I began to shudder as I recalled the feeling. "Then the house burst into flames and just… the windows blew out, there was glass and wood everywhere. I screamed in terror and began to cry uncontrollably. I tried to get up and run back towards the house to rescue anyone but my legs wouldn't move..." I started to cry again, hot tears running down my cheeks as I became wracked with sobs. The police officer put her hand on mine.

"Take a deep breath, Elena, you're okay now. Everything is okay." She spoke in hushed tones, trying to console me. Take a deep breath, everything is okay?! How the hell could I possibly do that while she was making me recount how I watched a bunch of people die in a fiery explosion! How could ANYONE take a deep breath dealing with that?!

"No! It's not okay! My friends are dead! I shouldn't have escaped… I should have been in there with them, I SHOULDN'T HAVE LIVED!" I wailed as I yanked my hand back from the officer and held my face in my hands, now crying uncontrollably. Why did I have to relive this?

"Okay, we're done questioning you, Elena. Your dad is here to pick you up and take you home, you don't need to worry, you're not in trouble. We will be following up with you soon." The officer stood up and pushed in her chair, walking around to my side of the table and stroking my hair a few times. "I really am sorry about your friends, but at least you made it out." She murmured as she walked out of the room. It wasn't even really a room actually; it felt more like a prison cell. The walls were painted egg shell white, the light bulbs gave off light that was harsh and bright, no doubt put in place to make someone feel uncomfortable. Other than the lights, table, and two chairs, the room was empty. There was no other furniture, no decorations on the wall. The table and chairs weren't even nice. They were made of metal, cold and hard. Luckily there was a tiny bit of padding on the chairs so it didn't feel entirely bad.

Thinking of something else caused me to quit crying so much, so I focused my mind on how I got away. I did not dwell on what happened to the others. I swear it felt like a man had grabbed me and threw me. He must've been really strong, as I'm not exactly a size zero. But how could anyone throw me that far and that hard? I was definitely going to have bruises from being slammed into the car. I'm really surprised that I didn't fracture anything as I must've been flung at least at 20 miles an hour… Did a man really save me, or was it just my mind trying to console itself that it got out okay without any major physical damage? No, if it were a ruse, I most likely would have not remembered flying. Come to think of it, I can't even remember why I went outside… I had no reason to want to go outside.

"Elena! Oh my baby!" a male voice interrupted my thought process. I instantly recognized the voice as that of my own father. I stood up and turned so I was facing the door, and my dad looked like hell. I could tell that he had been crying, most likely in worry for his only daughter. "Come here, I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that. The officer explained to me what happened, and your mom is leaving from phoenix tomorrow, cutting her business trip short." My dad opened his arms and I immediately ran into them, the force of my body nearly knocking him back. He smoothed my hair with one hand and rubbed my back with the other "Shhh… Baby girl, it's okay, dad is here. You don't need to worry." I was so thankful that my dad was here, he was my best friend.

"C…can we go home daddy? I want to go home." My voice was small and it honestly didn't sound like me at all.

"Yes, Elena, we're going to go home." My dad picked me up and cradled me against his chest. I immediately relaxed as this was the position he always carried me in whenever something bad happened to me. My dad was so strong, so brave, and so selfless. I truly hoped that one day I'd meet a guy exactly like my dad. I nestled my head against his chest and inhaled deeply, I could smell his cologne, a present my mom gave him two Christmases ago. This smell reminded me of home because he was always wearing it. I closed my eyes and tried my best to block out the mindless chatter going on in the main area of the police station.

"Let me get the door for you, Sir." I heard the female officer's voice again, and for some reason it sounded more annoying and shrill than it had before.

"Thank you, ma'am, I appreciate it." My father spoke in his warmest voice, though I knew when I told him the truth about that woman, and how she questioned me, he wouldn't feel so warm towards her.

"I hope you feel better, Elena. I'm so sorry for your loss." She sounded remorseful as we walked out, but I knew she wasn't remorseful. She was a police officer, what did she care? For all I knew, she thought that I may have purposely set the fire to kill all my friends and some people I didn't know. What motivation could I possibly have for that? What would I get out of killing a bunch of innocent people? The satisfaction of knowing I was capable of murder? I was far from a sociopath!

Within moments we were at the car, a 2014 black Nissan pathfinder, which we had affectionately named Darkness. I loved this car and actually it was supposed to be my birthday gift but I got my license taken away for speeding so I really had no need to drive Darkness. Thankfully I never got in much trouble because of the circumstances surrounding why I was speeding. My grandmother was literally dying in the hospital and I was trying to rush to get there so I could say goodbye to her. She actually raised me for most of my life, as my parents were constantly either working or traveling. She taught me everything I knew, especially how to be strong. This was actually what I was trying to hold onto right now so I didn't come unglued and fall apart at the seams. I was going 65 in a 45 and bam, pulled over and ticketed. This was part of my hatred towards cops, because of them I didn't get to say goodbye to my best friend.

My father set me down on my feet and wrapped one arm around my waist and the other around my neck to support me so I wouldn't fall. I was thankful for that, I wasn't sure my body was even capable of movement. Come to think of it I actually felt pretty weak.

"Easy, Elena, be careful honey." My dad helped me into the front passenger seat of Darkness and leaned the seat back so I'd be more comfortable. He reached to help me put my seatbelt on, but I grabbed his hand and pushed it away.

"I've got it, dad. I still remember how to buckle myself in. I'm not two anymore you know," I smiled, trying to get him to loosen up a bit. "I'm sixteen." My dad smiled back but I could tell that he was forcing it. He shut the car door and I sighed as I pulled my seat belt over me and clicked it into place. His tension didn't help much. Granted I knew he was really worried about me, but still he should relax a bit since I'm safe. As my dad started the car a song came on and there were sirens and fire truck and ambulance noises… My body froze up completely. It took me back to a few hours ago. My dad sensed my fear and turned it off as quickly as he could. He looked over at me and he looked so anguished.

"I'm sorry…" he choked out. I didn't respond and just leaned my head back, closing my eyes as I tried to force myself to calm down and stop my body from shaking. Why was I still feeling like this? I was safe now, I was with my dad and he wasn't going to let anything happen to me, so why was I still so shaken? _'You're in shock; you just witnessed all your friends die. It will hit you in a few days, but you really should rest right now.'_ A small voice in my head tried to explain why I was really feeling the way I was. I would expect it to be a female voice, but no, it was male. Quiet and soft like velvet. I appreciated the fact that it was giving me a reason, it made things a bit easier to comprehend.

I felt the car come to a stop and I opened my eyes, lifting my head up to look around. I was so relieved to see my house, the wraparound porch, the high pointed roof; it was a fairy tale home. It was my sanctuary. "We're home." My dad sighed and got out of the car, walking around to my side of the car and opening the door. I unbuckled my seat belt, my hands and body cold as ice. "Elena, do you want me to carry you in? Or can you walk?" he questioned me. To be honest, I wasn't totally sure whether I could walk or not. I decided that I would give it a try.

"No, dad, I think I'll be okay getting to my room." I wanted to show that I was okay and that I could handle it. _'Be brave, be strong. Be brave, be strong.'_ I repeated over and over as I tried to stand up and carry myself inside. I managed to walk about four steps forward before my legs turned to jelly and buckled from underneath me. I cursed mentally as I fell down, time seeming to move in slow motion. Seconds before I hit the ground face first my dad grabbed the back of my shirt and pulled me back up quickly. I let out a huge sigh of relief, so thankful that my dad was there for me yet again.

"Easy there," he steadied me, "I should have known that you would have fallen. At least I was there to catch you." My dad smiled, and I laughed weakly. I was physically, emotionally, and mentally drained from the day's events. All I wanted was to go inside and crawl into bed.

"So much for taking the SAT tomorrow… I can kiss my college career goodbye..." I mumbled as we walked through the front door. My dad laughed and flicked on the light.

"Elena, there will be plenty of other opportunities for you to take the SAT. You're only a junior, you'll be okay." He rubbed my back and reassured me, but it didn't do much good. "Now," he continued, "let's get you upstairs and into bed." Carefully my dad helped me hobble up the stairs, easily supporting 90% of my weight. I owed this man so much just in this one night, I'm glad that he was my dad and that he was here. He never stayed around much as I was growing up, so I didn't really have a relationship with him until a few years ago. I'm glad I forgave him from not being there though, I couldn't have wished for a better dad.

"Thanks, dad, for everything." I half-smiled as I climbed into bed. He tucked the covers around me and kissed my forehead.

"Anytime, I am your dad after all. Sleep tight, I'll be right downstairs if you need me." I turned over onto my side and closed my eyes, so thankful for being back in my own bed under my own covers. I heard my dad step out and slowly shut the door, making sure to be quiet so that he wouldn't disturb me. Nothing could disturb me right now; I was too tired and drained.

As I slept, I dreamt. The dreams were so vivid and colorful, it seemed like they were so real. The first dream, and the only one I could totally remember, was the most frightening. I was back at Jeremy's house and Jessica and I were standing there talking after having taken Michelle up to the bedroom to let her sleep off her drunkenness.

"Can you believe that? She got so wasted, and this party hasn't even been going on for two hours! I never expected Michelle to be the first one down" Jessica started to laugh. I laughed too and shook my head.

"Psh. She's such a lightweight! Can't have three drinks without passing out, you know? It's that skinny body of hers, obviously. She's anorexic that's the only way she could stay skinny. Her entire family is like, so obese, I could probably fit six of me into their jeans!" What was coming out of my mouth? I would have never talked about anyone, especially a friend, like that! I wasn't even skinny! I was like 160 pounds standing at 5'6.

"Ouch, 'Lena, that's a little harsh!" Jessica chided me. I shrugged, what the hell was wrong with me?!

"Harsh? No way. Don't defend her we all know you have bulimia, so you have nothing to be defending her about." I laughed like I was telling a joke, Jessica didn't laugh and I knew that I had crossed the line. Oh no. What had I done?

"You spiteful little bitch." She spoke each word with venom in her voice. "I thought you were my friend. I thought you were her friend. You took it way too far. Fuck off, Elena. I don't need someone like you driving me home!" Jessica stormed off and I just stood there with my mouth open. How dare she call me a bitch! I had been nothing but nice to her from day one!

"Oh whatever," I grumbled under my breath. I didn't want to take her home anyway, "stupid party, stupid friends, stupid life, stupid house!" I stormed off upstairs to go check on Michelle and make sure she was still alive. I could hear the music from downstairs and suddenly that was the only thing I could hear, the music was pounding in my ear so loudly that I couldn't even hear myself think.

I opened up the door to Jeremy's parent's bed room and looked at the bed. Michelle was laying there on her side facing away from me. "Michelle? You okay?" I screamed over the music. How was she not waking up with that loud stereo? I walked over to the bed and shook her shoulder. "MICHELLE! WAKE UP! WE NEED TO GET YOU HOME!" I had to scream louder and my voice was growing hoarse. I shook her shoulder and turned her over but as I did that the skin melted off of Michelle, she was nothing but bones. I gasped and jumped back in terror. She was just fine 20 minutes ago! I turned around and began to sob, so upset and so scared and so confused. Suddenly, the music stopped. I could hear myself think and everything was eerily quiet.

"You did this..." I heard Michelle's voice, barely a whisper in the wind, "It's your fault." Stunned I turned around to see her skeleton standing in front of me, glaring at me with such intensity. I couldn't speak, I couldn't think, I couldn't move. "You let me die. You let Jessica die. You let all your friends die." Michelle taunted me. I smelled gasoline and felt an intense heat.

"No! NO!" I screamed and busted down the door trying to get out. I nearly fell down the stairs because I was running so fast. As soon as I reached the bottom step everything was in a charred state. The smell of burnt flesh and burnt furniture filled my nostrils. The sight alone nearly made me throw up but the smell made it ten times worse. "I didn't do this! I didn't do it, it's not my fault!" I cried out as I took a look at all of the charred bodies lying on the floor in front of me. I could see the horror on their faces, their bodies locked up in terror as they died a slow painful death. The house melted away and I was standing underneath a light blue sky. I breathed in a huge sigh of relief that the nightmare was over. That I got away from those people.

"You killed us. You killed us." Voices began to chant over and over in unison. I could hear each individual voice. The bodies were all conscious now and standing in front of me, I was unable to move.

"Why, Elena?" Jessica cried, "Why did you let me die like this? Why did you let any of us die? You could have stopped it! You could have stopped it…" the bodies vanished and the voices were now just whispers in the wind. I immediately sat down and pulled my knees against my chest rocking back and forth as I sobbed. I was trying to hold myself together while also trying to block out the voices. "It wasn't my fault!" I howled over and over into the wind, "I didn't mean to!"

"Elena!" My dad shook my shoulder and I shot up in my bed, letting out a small scream. "Elena! What's wrong?!" my dad put both of his hands on my face and I started sobbing uncontrollably again. Oh thank god! It was a dream! It wasn't real!

"It wasn't real! I was dreaming the whole time! Oh what a relief! I have to call Jessica and Michelle!" I tried to get out of bed but my father gripped my shoulders and pushed me back down. "Dad, I have to call them, I know it's late but I have to call them!"

"Elena. You can't call them. It's three in the morning." He tried to reason with me.

"But dad, I dreamt that there was a big house fire and that I was the only one who escaped! Michelle and Jessica and everyone else didn't make it out. But it was only a dream!" I cried tears of joy, so happy to know that I didn't kill my friends!

"Honey… That wasn't a dream…" My dad put his hand on top of mine and squeezed it tightly. My breath caught in my throat and the tears stopped. It… was… real… I did kill them... Oh my god…

"No… NO! I killed them! I killed all of my friends!" I was in a state of disbelief. All of that actually happened? I was at the party, and the house caught fire, oh my god…

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." My dad sat on my bed and cradled me against his chest, slowly rocking back and forth. "Breathe, Elena. Take slow deep breaths, try and calm down." My whole body was wracked with sobs and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't catch my breath.

"Oh daddy I killed them... Jessica, Michelle, Jeremy, Angelica, Clarissa…" I whimpered.

"No, baby, no you didn't kill them. You didn't start the fire, you just got lucky. There was absolutely nothing you could have done. It's not your fault, Elena; it's not your fault." My dad tried to soothe me and get me to relax but even though he kept telling me it wasn't my fault, I felt like it was my fault. I could've stopped Jessica from dying at least if I would have just brought her home.

"Sweetie, daddy is going to give you a little something to relax, okay? It's a pill, just swallow it and you'll be fine." My dad reached into his pocket and pulled out a pill bottle. "Let me go get you a glass of water." He smiled as he tossed the pill bottle onto the bed. It was dark so there was no way I could see what medication it was. I know my dad would never intentionally give me something that would harm me, but I was still a little nervous about taking a pill that didn't belong to me. What if I died? I'd already come close to death once today, I didn't really need to risk a second one.

My dad came back in and sat on my bed, handing me the glass of water. "Um, dad," I paused for a moment, taking a drink as he opened the pill bottle. "What medication are you giving me..?" I could hear the nervousness in my voice, so I know he could hear it too.

"Seroquel, it's to help you sleep. Remember when I went through that really bad anxiety phase and couldn't sleep? Well," he smiled, "this is the medication they gave me to help me sleep. I would give you a Xanax but um… That's my medicine." He handed me two little pills and I quickly put them into my mouth, took a big drink, and swallowed them.

"How long does it take for it to start working?"

"Oh it only takes about 15 minutes or so. I'll go ahead and sit here with you until you fall asleep." He put the pill bottle back into his pants pocket and I lay back down, turning over onto my left side so I would feel most comfortable. My dad began to hum my lullaby, one that he had been humming since the day he and my mom brought me home from the hospital. I closed my eyes and sighed deeply, wiping my eyes off on my sleeves to get rid of the excess tears. I was getting a tiny bit better at stopping them as soon as I realized that crying wouldn't really help me at all.

My dad was right. About 10 or so minutes later I passed out, taking a big sigh of relief as I finally felt like I'd be able to sleep without another nightmare. "Sweet dreams, Elena." My dad kissed my head and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him again. I settled off into a peaceful and blissful sleep.


	2. Blackout

The bright burning sunlight awoke me the next morning. Or was it afternoon? I really had no sense of time at this moment, nor did I really care to have a sense of time. My parents hadn't woken me up so I knew that it must not have been too late. Dreading getting up and having to face all my problems, I tossed the pillow onto my face and held it there trying to block the light from my window. I pushed down harder than necessary and for some reason couldn't stop. My arms and fingers wouldn't listen to let go of the pillow so I could breathe. What the hell?! I could feel my chest growing tight and I kicked my legs in frustration, trying to fight. I tried to scream, but I couldn't get the air in to do it.

"Elena…Are you- Oh my god!" I heard my mom open the door and rush over to my bed. She quickly pried my fingers off of the pillow and tossed it aside. I breathed in deeply and began to cough from lack of air. "What on earth were you doing?" She was truly panicked for me and my safety. I could see it in her eyes and the expression on her face. How could I even respond? 'Oh, I was just trying to suffocate myself?' My mother would have me locked up in the psych ward for sure if I said that.

"I…" At that moment my mind couldn't think of anything to say, it was as if I didn't have the ability to form words and sentences. I really had no explanation.

"Sweetheart, are you okay? You don't have to speak, just nod." I replied by doing just that. It seemed to satisfy her, which was good. "I'm so sorry about what happened to your friends, honey. I can't imagine what you must be going through, but trust me, your father and I are here for you. We're going to do absolutely everything in our power to get you whatever help you need." She breathed in a big sigh of what I guessed was relief. "Speaking of help, you have an appointment at the doctors in an hour or so. I know you're mad," she paused, gauging my reaction. "But, honey, we actively need to make sure that you're okay." I just stared at her emotionlessly. I was fine! What on earth was everyone so worried about? I knew she wouldn't leave me alone until I gave her a response that would placate her.

"Okay. And thanks mom, I know you and dad care. Maybe… Maybe I'll be okay. You know? It might not be that bad, I mean, yeah almost everyone I knew is dead, but really how is it so bad? I got out okay, right? So that's all that matters… As far as I'm concerned, I'd really like to try and forget that last night ever happened. Do you know what I mean? I just think it'll be better for me in the long run if I ignore it and just act like it never happened." Wow. That was a shock where did all that come from?

"Lena, darling… Do you even hear yourself? You can't just pretend like it never happened, you have got to admit it so you can heal." My mom tried to reason with me and I began to grow annoyed. I made my decision! I can handle myself how I see fit.

"Mom, please leave me alone. I'm going to get ready. I'll be down when I'm done." There must have been something commanding in my voice because my mom left the room without looking back at me. These past 24 hours have been so very confusing, just trying to think hurt my head. So, obviously, I didn't think about it.

Once she had left I got up out of bed and sighed heavily. With all I had been through couldn't I just stay in bed for the day? Why did I have to get up and do something? Why couldn't I just stay and wallow in my own misery? I knew why. Because, if I decided to stay in bed and not occupy myself and my mind, I'd slowly go insane with grief and guilt. I rubbed my eyes to try and get the sleep out of them, as well as to refresh my senses. I needed to get ready, but I also needed to do something at the same time to focus my thoughts. Make up and… music! Yes, with my music I just have to block out the world. I quickly retrieved my iPod from my nightstand drawer, pleasantly surprised to see that it was still charged enough though it hadn't been charged in at least three days.

I had been careful to avoid all the mirrors in my room as I walked back and forth doing various things. I had a lot of mirrors, mainly because I honestly liked looking at myself. That got me to thinking, how did I even look now? After being through hell and back? I took in a deep breath and held it, slowly walking over to my vanity with my eyes closed, trying to avoid facing my reflection. Finally I knew I could not hold it off anymore, it wouldn't do me any good. Slowly I opened my eyes and I was abruptly taken aback at the girl in the mirror. She looked so… hideous and broken and torn apart and just so miserable. Her long honey golden blonde hair that was usually so smooth and neat was all over the place, making her look a bit like a homeless person. Her eyes, clear as the blue seas of Mexico, seemed cold and depthless. It was as if this girl had no soul, no meaning, and no purpose. Her slender body frame was slouched, unconfident. She was by no means unattractive, but her appearance at this moment just wasn't very appealing. Looking at her in the mirror made me extremely uncomfortable and anxious. It took me a few moments before my brain registered that the girl who looked so hideous was actually I.

Wanting not to pass out from shock, I sat myself down on my padded chair and continued to stare at my reflection. I actually did look like I had been beaten in the face with the ugly stick, a fact that was hard to overcome. Call it vanity if you wish, but I was the town beauty queen. I had participated in so many of the pageants, my parents had spent so much time and money ensuring that this would be a great place to raise a family. I was sought after by every boy, and a few girls, but not even a blind dog could love me in the state that I was in at that moment. I put my ear buds in and opened my music, hitting the random button and being surprised at the song that was chosen first. It was actually kind of ironic; it was Wanted by Hunter Hayes. The girl in the song was wanted, but I wasn't. I was not in the mood to try and waste time to find something so I just left it on that song and turned the volume up loud enough that I could block out the world.

I opened the vanity drawer and pulled out about two and a half boxes that were just absolutely filled to the brim with various makeups, bobby pins, and other things that a typical teenage girl would have. Makeup was basically my salvation. It made me feel so much more confident than any guy or my parents ever had. When I wore makeup, I could be anyone, I could be anything. The world was mine for the taking! Not to mention I received a lot of attention from people. My life was constant stream of compliments like "Oh, you're so beautiful" or "I wish I was as pretty as you!" I honestly attribute all of the attention to makeup; it can do some amazing things for your face if you know how to apply it properly. Even as a baby my mother said that I would always put on her makeup and try and be grown up.

 _"_ _Not even makeup can mask the pain you have on your face, Elena, but we'll try to fix it."_ My inner voice was cheerful but I still felt weird. Could I even put on makeup and go out and get attention while my dead friends couldn't? _"Stop that! Stop that right now, stop blaming yourself! You lived, they died, you can't change it"_ I flinched as the cheerfulness disappeared. However, it was right. I couldn't change anything by feeling guilty or hating myself. I'd never go on in life if I couldn't move on and heal from tragedies like this one. Picking myself up by my boot straps, I forced a smile and began to apply my makeup.

First up was the foundation, then the powder to smooth it out, a little bit of blush to add some color to my cheeks, light purple eye shadow to match my outfit for the day, eyeliner with perfectly tipped wings, and four coats of mascara to make my eyelashes pop. I was done within fifteen minutes and as I looked into the mirror, I could see a change in the girl from earlier. She now sat up straighter, she had more confidence. Her smile seemed genuine and her eyes were lit up with the help of the eye shadow and eyeliner. She looked nothing like she did before.

"I'm such an artist, I should start a gallery!" I laughed silently to myself as I arose from the vanity chair, my earbuds being ripped out as I stood up to quickly. I decided to just leave it there; I really had no interest in listening to music anymore right now. My least favorite part was up next; getting dressed. Choosing what to wear was such a chore for me, I had way too many clothes that could be used in about two hundred different combinations. I was still dressed in my party outfit from the day before and that made me feel really gross. I had to change my clothes constantly as I worried way too much about dirt being on my skin.

I finally decided on a purple cotton summer dress. It came down to my ankles and really hugged my curves, yet it was also light and airy, giving me room to breathe and move. I had had this dress for at least a few years now and I was pleasantly surprised that it still fit me! My grandmother bought me this dress about two years ago for my 14th birthday, and I have been in love with it ever since. I wore it quite a lot during the summer, so I was also intrigued at how it had survived all these days, all these messes I had gotten into. Yet, it looked brand new and you couldn't tell it had ever been worn at all.

My shoes were next on the list and I decided that I would just keep it simple with a pair of black wedged flip flops. They were fashionable yet comfy, a combination that every girl dreamed of creating. I put in small hoop earrings, giving my outfit a fancy touch. I walked over to the body length mirror near my closet and smiled slightly as I saw my reflection. The outfit really pulled everything together, giving the assumption that this girl had never been through any drama, any pain, she was just a normal sixteen year old girl.

"Elena," my mother called out to me from downstairs, "We need to leave!" I sighed. What kind of doctor was she taking me to anyway? Was it my pediatrician, a psychologist, a psychiatrist? The possibilities were endless.

"Coming mom!" I yelled back downstairs. I grabbed my phone off of my nightstand and took a quick glance at the screen. There were so many message notifications, people asking if I were okay, anonymous numbers telling me I was a murderer, and people asking how I escaped. I decided to ignore them for now, it would be better if I could wait until I was in a setting where I couldn't break down crying. I slowly descended down the stairs and held on to the railing for my life because I still didn't have full control of my legs. _'What if I were to fall right now? Maybe that would set things right, I would be dead or at least close to it just like my friends were right now.'_ This guilt would eat me alive, wouldn't it? It would ruin any part of me that I had.

"Elena, are you alright? You look so pale…" my mom observed as I finally reached the bottom of the stairs. I looked pale? How could that be possible, I put so much makeup on so that it would hide any imperfections! My mother put her hand on my shoulder and tried to look me directly in the eye. I didn't meet her gaze, I didn't want to. I shrugged away from her touch, feeling uneasy.

"I'm fine. Let's just go and get this over with." I mumbled under my breath. My mom let it go and I was thankful that she did so. It was a little weird actually; she never let things like this go. But, she seemed to be doing it now. I wonder why? Oh well, I may as well not think too much into it, it would do no good to focus on it.

"Now," my mom spoke directly to me as we got into the car, "We are going to see Dr. Kall, then we are going to the medical center to get you set up with a therapist. Then we will go get lunch, and finally we'll go to the police station because they need to talk to you again." She gauged my reaction, awaiting my emotions. I was angry! A therapist, are you kidding me?! I didn't need a therapist, I was fine! Why the hell did the police want to speak to me? They just talked to me and got my statement less than 16 hours ago!

"Whatever. Let's just get this day over with." I growled, feeling the anger practically radiating off of my body. My mom clearly felt it too because she stopped talking and just kept her eyes on the road. I really did not want to deal with anything like this today. I wanted to just stay in bed and sleep and ignore the world, but no. I have to go and get checked out. I felt fine! Except… my neck was kind of stiff, and I felt a dull ache in my side, the side that had hit the car as I was thrown into it. My head hurt and it felt like I was getting a muscle spasm in my arms because they were twitching. Greaaaaaat, this is wonderful. I guess the adrenaline from the night before had masked my pain and I didn't feel anything until I really thought about how I was feeling.

I watched the trees and buildings roll by outside of the car window, trying to distract my mind from the pain that I now felt. It didn't do much good, the pain seemed to be growing stronger and I fought to not show any emotions that would give off the idea that I was actually in pain. Little did I know, my mom was watching me out of the corner of her eye and her intuition told her that I wasn't feeling okay. We arrived at the doctor's office a few minutes later and I took in a deep breath trying to mask my pain.

"We're here, Elena. Let's go." My mother spoke to me as if I was out of it and had no idea where we were. That was hardly the case, as I was always very aware of my surroundings no matter where I was. We walked into the doctor's office and I was overwhelmed with the smell of alcohol, the sound of children crying, it was greatly annoying and only added to my headache. I didn't really understand why I had to go see a pediatrician, I was sixteen. Granted Dr. Kall had seen me since the day I was born, I really felt like it was time that I transition to the doctor that the rest of my family saw.

"Hi, how can we help you today?" a new receptionist asked my mother and smiled at me, I was curious as to why she didn't just ask me.

"My daughter Elena has an appointment to see Dr. Kall at 12:30." my mother replied. So, it was indeed afternoon. I slept in really late…Weird.

"Alright, is everything still the same? Address, phone number, etc...?" My mother nodded. "Great! Just go ahead and have a seat, it may take a while as the doctor is fairly busy." She gestured to the waiting room and I turned around and looked. She was right. There were at least half a dozen kids that were going to be seen before me. Yay, I get to wait! In agony, I might add. Still, I did my best to keep my poker face on.

"Thank you." My mother smiled and turned around, grabbing my hand and leading me to the seats on the far left side of the wall. I jerked my hand away in annoyance, I didn't need help. My mother just ignored it and began dialing numbers on her phone. "Hi, my name is Miranda Gilbert and I'm calling to let you guys know that we may be a little late to the appointment for my daughter Elena." Oh, so she was calling and letting the other doctors know that we were backed up in our schedule. I really didn't care so I just tuned her out and tried to focus on the soft classical music playing from the speakers on the ceiling.

My phone buzzed twice and I remembered that I had a bunch of text messages that I needed to respond to. Many of them read _"I saw what happened on the news! Are you okay?"_ then grew more frantic as I didn't respond _"Elena where are you?! I've tried calling you! No one can reach you! Are you okay?!"_ I flinched knowing that I was causing someone else pain because I was too wrapped up in my own life to respond to their messages. Other messages, the ones that hurt me the most, read _"You're a murderer, I can't believe you lived."_ And _"You probably set that fire, how could you kill your own friends? You're a despicable human being. I wish you died instead of them."_

My blood ran cold as I read them. I tried my hardest not to start crying and I had no idea what to text them back. No one else was there to witness what happened, who would believe me if I said that I didn't start the fire? No one would. I decided that I would just leave those messages alone in case the police wanted to see them. I quickly responded to all the ones that inquired about my wellbeing _"I'm fine, thank you. I'm sorry I made you worry, I was in rough shape and I completely forgot about the rest of the world. I'm okay. I'm at the doctor's right now, getting checked for any injuries. Thank you for being so concerned."_ I sent that about a dozen times to each of the concerned messengers. There was no reason to type out a different response to each one. Then, suddenly, a message from an unknown sender popped up, sent a few minutes ago. _"I'm glad you're safe. I only wish I would have been able to save your friends. I tried but there was nothing I could do. I had to save at least one person. I'm sorry."_ Who sent this? Was it a joke? If it was, it wasn't a very funny one. _"Who is this?"_ I texted back and waited, there was no further response. Could it have been the person who knocked me out of the way last night? The person who saved me? Or was it a cruel joke meant to make me feel even worse?

"Elena?" a nurse called out my name, "The doctor is ready for you now." I stood up and my mom grabbed my hand.

"Do you want me to come with you?" I shook my head, I could do this alone. I wasn't a baby and I didn't need my mom right there with me. I could handle anything.

"How are you doing today, Elena?" the nurse asked me, shutting the door behind me to the waiting room.

"Fine, I'm fine." I mumbled, feeling the pain in my side grow stronger.

"I'm Nurse Angela. I'll be taking your vital signs and such." Angela was very pretty. She was tall with long dark brown hair tied back neatly in a ponytail. Her eyes were a deep green and there was a certain softness in her face and smile that made me feel a little better. She led me to the scale at the end of the hallway. "Step up please." I did as she asked and held my breath as I awaited the number. "155.3, very good." She smiled and wrote the number down on my chart. 155.3? I had lost five pound since I last weighed myself a week ago, that was a little terrifying. "Room 6." She directed me and I hopped up onto the examination table. It was a little small, definitely not meant to be used by a teenager.

As the nurse was getting her things ready to take my vital signs I looked around the room I was in. I had seen this room many, many times in my sixteen years. It hadn't changed much. There were still little bears on the wall paper strewn across the top of the wall. The walls themselves were painted a soft yellow, meant to calm children down. They should probably change the color, because with all the screaming from kids I was hearing, it wasn't calming them down much.

"Hold out your arm, please." I followed her instructions and flinched a little as the cuff tightened on my aching arm. She noticed my flinch. "Tender?" she asked inquisitively. I nodded. "Do you have any other pain besides your arm?" She seemed concerned.

"Well, my head hurts and my neck is stiff. I have this extremely sharp pain in my left side that seems to be getting worse… It's like I'm being stabbed or something. It was dull at first but now it's hurting more." I flinched and gasped out in pain, grabbing my side as I felt a new sensation; the feeling that I couldn't breathe without extreme pain.

"Oh my, that's not very good. Well, we'll get the doctor in here right away as soon as I take your temperature." The nurse stuck a thermometer under my tongue and held it there for about twenty seconds. "You don't have a fever so that's good. Alright, hang tight and I'll make sure to let Dr. Kall know that you need to be seen immediately." Nurse Angela stepped out of the room and I clenched my teeth together in an attempt to block out the pain.

Spots began to dance in and out of my vision and I felt light headed. _'Oh no. No no no no no!'_ my mind raced. I was passing out, losing consciousness. This was not good, NOT GOOD!

"Elena!" I heard Dr. Kall's voice. He gasped sharply. "Angela! Get in here immediately!"

"What is it doct—" she gasped too. "Oh my god." That's when I couldn't fight anymore. I gave into the darkness and drifted, I no longer heard what was going on around me. The only thing I could here was the pounding of my heartbeat in my head.


	3. Him

I quickly felt something pulling me down, it was so strong that I couldn't resist its pull. Gravity? No, gravity isn't this strong. Suddenly I was flying, seeing gold and white streaks pass by me. I was terrified so I closed my eyes tightly and clutched my hands against my chest. No longer did I feel the pain, but I felt the fear. I felt the absolute cold and darkness of whatever was around me. Then, just as abruptly as I started to move, I stopped. I was afraid to open my eyes because I had absolutely no idea what was happening to me. Was I dying?

"Open your eyes, Elena, you're not dying." There was a whisper in the wind. It was so quiet that I couldn't be totally sure what it was saying. I did as it instructed me and slowly opened one eye, and then the other. I was in a field somewhere, grass as far as I could see. There was a slight breeze that swayed my hair back from in front of my face. It felt… peaceful. There were no clouds, no sun, just grass and a blue sky all around me. Off in the distance I saw a bench. No one was sitting on it and it looked like it had just been built. Curious, I began to walk towards it.

"What is this place? Where am I?" I spoke out loud, trying to get the whisper voice to respond. My voice was as clear as a bell and seemed to be higher than it usually was, and that scared me a bit. "Hello?!" I called out, "Is there anybody here?!" No response. I was becoming more frightened as the seconds passed. Was this purgatory? Was I already dead and this is where I was awaiting to be judged?

"No, you're thinking too much into this." The voice laughed, and it was loud enough that I could tell that it was a male voice. "Relax, you don't need to be afraid, I'm not going to hurt you. Turn around." It suggested and I didn't want to, but I couldn't stop myself from turning around. Standing there behind me was a boy, probably around my age. He was beautiful. I had never seen anything like him. He had gorgeous baby blue eyes and jet black hair that hung slightly in front of his face. He was dressed in a button down dark blue shirt and dark jeans. My heart fluttered as he smiled a truly breathtaking smile. _Holy hell, this man was gorgeous!_

"W...wh...who are y…you…?" I stuttered, barely able to get a word out because I was so entranced by his beauty.

"My name is Damon, that's all you need to know right now. I've been watching you, _Elena_." He stepped closer to me and I suddenly felt uncomfortable, "I've been watching you for quite some time now… Your life was in serious danger last night. In fact, you've been in danger numerous times. I'm the one that saves you. Every. Single. Time." Damon's expression changed from his soft look earlier. His face was serious, his mouth in a thin line. I could tell he was frustrated, his eyes piercing mine, staring into my soul.

"You're the one that saved me from that fire last night?" I asked him, no emotion in my voice.

"I am indeed." Anger grew inside me.

"You bastard!" I was seething. "YOU COULD HAVE SAVED MY FRIENDS! OR AT THE VERY LEAST LET ME DIE WITH THEM!" I walked up to him and shoved him backward with all of my might, he didn't budge. He was as hard as stone.

"I knew you would do this..." He sighed. "Elena. Listen to me. I had no choice but to save you. I have to protect you from the evil and darkness of the world. I caused you to pass out. I got inside your head. I sent you that text. I had to. I've been saving you since you were born. I've been waiting in the wings, carefully guiding you. I've watched you get your heart broken, I've watched you get your feelings hurt, but those I couldn't change. I couldn't fix that." Damon seemed genuine in what he was telling me, and his face returned to the softness it once was. His eyes were pleading. My anger was slowly melting away as he explained himself. He had been protecting me all this time? Every time I was in danger, he saved me. He brought me back…

"You... What are you?" I was puzzled. He must be human, but if he was, how could he have watched me from birth? He wasn't old at all.

"I'm… I'm your protector. I've been drawn to you since you were born. We're soul mates." He looked away, almost like he was ashamed to admit it.

"Soul what?" I responded, confused.

"Soul mates. We're meant for each other. Each person born has one person who was made specifically for them. Some people go their entire lives without figuring out who their true soul mate even is. I've waited over a hundred years for you. I've waited to find someone like you." He looked at me helplessly and I just stared back with no emotion on my face. We were soul mates? I had never met this guy, and I was supposed to be bound to him for the rest of my life? I was only a teenager! No, no way in hell was I going to be bound to someone.

"No. We're not soul mates. I don't believe in that stuff. You're just a figment of my imagination. You're nothing, you're not real, and you're a liar. Now I demand that I be woken up! I don't like passing out!" I jabbed a finger at him, anger practically rolling off of me. Ouch, I was pretty sure I might have just broken my finger. Damon looked extremely hurt, but only for a fraction of a second. He smirked.

"I guess you're right. It's easier this way. I sprung this on you so fast. I apologize. I need you to forget about this… Forget about meeting me. Forget everything I told you." He looked at me with a harsh softness in his eyes. Forget about him? Why? He was only in my imagination anyway. Damon put both of his hands on either side of my face and held my gaze in his. "You need to forget everything that happened. You need to forget coming to this place. All you remember is that you were at the doctor's office, and you passed out from pain. You'll get to know me eventually, and I'll be more prepared... Goodbye, Elena…" Damon kissed my forehead briefly before disappearing. I wanted to tell him that he didn't have to go, but I couldn't speak.

Suddenly there was a large jolt through my entire body and I blacked out. I felt like I was being pulled into something. "We've got her back! We've got a pulse! Go tell the family!" a female voice was happy. No, more than happy. I gasped in to try and breathe and I opened my eyes, looking around frantically. I was in a room with a bright light and there were beeping noises all around me. I tried to speak but realized that I couldn't. I was in immense pain, my whole body felt like it was on fire.

"Elena?" the female voice spoke again, I could hear her more clearly this time. "Can you hear me? You're okay. I'm Dr. Mason and you're at Mercy Memorial Hospital. You were dead, kiddo." Dr. Mason had this look of immense relief on her face. "We brought you back, it took a lot of effort, but we brought you back." Brought me back? "You're one of the lucky ones." She smoothed my hair and smiled warmly. Suddenly the exhaustion and pain was too much for me to handle and I immediately fell back into a deep sleep yet again, this was becoming monotonous.

"Doctor, it's been two hours, why isn't she waking up yet?" I heard my mother voice her concern. She sounded like she had been crying.

"Mrs. Gilbert, Elena's body has been through a lot. Give it some time to heal itself. Shock is common in a lot of patients that go through traumatic experiences like she did." Dr. Mason sounded tired, probably exhausted from running around all day saving my life. Had I really been out another two hours?

"Isn't there anything you can do?!" My father raised his voice, something that surprised me because he always kept his calm.

"No, I'm sorry. She's alive, at least we have that. Excuse me. I have to get back to my other patients." I heard footsteps walking away and I sighed internally. I didn't want anyone to be distressed because of me… Speaking of me, what happened to me? All I could remember is that I passed out in the doctor's office.

"Grayson, do you really think she'll be okay?" My mother began to cry.

"Miranda, she'll be fine. She's a fighter. The doctors will keep her safe. Why don't we go home and pack a few things and then come back to check on her? We need to get Jeremy, he's sick of being alone, I can tell. If something happens the hospital will call us." My dad tried to soothe my mom and offer her a distraction.

"But…"

"No buts. She'll be fine." I heard footsteps walking towards me and I tried to open my eyes. No luck. This was growing very frustrating. Someone kissed me on the forehead, I couldn't tell whether it was my mom or dad, but it was comforting nonetheless.

"We'll be back soon, Elena. You hang in there, okay? We love you, sweetheart." I could tell that my mother was smiling, or was it a fake smile? Well, at least I could make one person happy in some way. The footsteps began to walk away and I heard the sliding of a glass door being closed. Was I truly alone now? That was a relief. I could be alone with my thoughts right now, I didn't have to listen to anyone, I didn't have to focus on anything, and I could just be with my thoughts.

How did I even get here in the hospital anyway? How long had I been out? _'You were at the doctor's office, Elena. You passed out. They brought you here by ambulance.'_ The voice in my head answered my question. That was rather interesting; I passed out in the doctor's office? I wonder what could've caused that. Did my blood pressure get too low? Did I get too light headed? _'I dunno that part. All I know is something went weird and then we woke up here.'_ The voice responded and it sounded just as curious as I did.


	4. Hospital

I tried once again to open my eyes, it was extremely difficult, but I managed to get them open a little bit. This room was not nearly as bright as the previous one. The blinds on the windows were closed and the lights were dimmed considerably. I could hear the beeping that I heard earlier although this rhythm seemed fairly even and steady. I noticed a few cheerful pictures on the wall, which was painted a soft blue. There was the picture of the cat holding onto that tree branch, the calming view of a sun as it was setting on a beach… This room was very peaceful. It was nice to have a normal view after being unconscious for so long with nothing but black on every side of me. I looked down at my hand and I realized that I had an IV, the needle of which seemed to be fairly large. I glanced up and saw that whatever medicine was in the drip bag was almost gone, I guess that's why I started to wake up.

I turned my head over and glanced toward the big metal door. It looked like the kind of door that automatically opens when you walk into Walmart, I had never seen any hospital have doors like this one. People walked back and forth, not glancing into my room, which I thought was a little unnerving. So many people would just continue on with their life, regardless of whether I was dead or alive. They wouldn't stop, they wouldn't think about me even for a second.. The beeping on the machine became erratic and I could feel my heart pounding in my head. I looked up at the machine and saw that my heart was beating at around 120 beats per minute. 120 beats per minute? Wasn't that like really high?

"It's not that high, you're just having a moment of anxiety, that's all, Elena." A male voice came from the other side of the bed. Terrified I immediately whipped my head around and could feel my eyes bugging out of my head as I saw a man standing there. He could clearly sense my fear, and he smiled. "I'm the attending doctor now, Dr. Mason had to rush home for a family incident. You can call me Dr. Mikael." His smile was not helping my fear at all, even though my brain was rationalizing that I shouldn't be afraid. He had a white coat on, blue scrubs, a nametag, and an identification badge.

Wait. He answered my question. Was I talking out loud? How did he even get in here anyway without me noticing? The doors never even opened! "Um, Hi…" I squeaked out. My heart was still racing.

"Relax, you don't need to be afraid. I don't bite." He chuckled at what I assumed was my reaction. "I'm just in here to check up on you. Your heart monitor was going a little off the charts there." He walked over to me and set the chart down on the table next to my hospital bed. "I'll have to have the nurse get a new bag soon…" he murmured as he looked over to the drip bag. I took the moment to analyze every feature of him that I could. He was fairly handsome and seemed to be around maybe 28 years old, but he looked very young. He had soft facial features and his eyes were a dazzling shade of green. Had I not been in the current situation that I was in, I would probably have been entranced by his attractiveness. His hair was the most glorious shade of dark brown, almost a bronze color.

I took a deep breath and fought hard with myself to get my heart rate under control. The beeping on the machine quieted and I began to feel better. "I'm sorry, you just… You scared me. I didn't even see you come in." I tried to apologize for my behavior, it was quite rude considering he was a doctor and he was just trying to help me.

"Yeah, I guess so." I blushed.

"Looking at your chart it appears you passed out in the doctor's office, is that correct?" I nodded. "Well, we're going to have to take a look at the things going on inside your body. I'm going to order a CAT scan and probably have someone come in and take a few blood samples. I will also be doing a physical exam, just very basic things. They won't hurt at all." He seemed to be trying to get me to trust him. It was kind of working. "Now, we have no clue why you passed out as your nurse said that you were fine beforehand. Do you by any chance remember what was happening before you passed out?"

"Um, well," I paused trying to remember. "The nurse took my blood pressure and I flinched because my arm was already sore and she was making the pain worse. Then I got this extreme sharp stabbing pain in my side, and I honestly felt like I couldn't breathe. The nurse left the room and then spots began to dance in front of my vision. Next thing I knew I woke up here." Recalling those events made me realize that I barely had any pain right now, and I thought that that was really weird.

He sighed. "So you don't know why. But you think it was pain related?" he guessed. I nodded and he shook his head. "While it is possible to pass out because your body can't handle the pain, it's often because your blood pressure dipped too low and judging from your numbers…" he glanced up at the monitor, "I suspect that's what happened. None the less you were in a pretty traumatic experience last night, correct? Or did I mishear?"

"No, you heard right. All my friends were killed in the house fire. I'm the only one who made it out." My voice caught in my throat and I felt my chest growing tight.

"Relax. Elena, you need to breathe." Dr. Mikael put his hand on my shoulder and I tried to follow his instructions. "I'm not here to make you relive that experience, I'm just here to help you and make sure that you're okay physically." He gently prodded along my arm and looked at my face to observe my reaction. I felt nothing. "No tenderness?" I shook my head. He seemed to be trying to hide a smile. "That's because you're on morphine. You're probably not going to be able to feel anything and that's actually for the best right now." So that's why I wasn't feeling any pain, I was on morphine? Wow, I could see how people would get addicted to this kind of thing. Little did I know, it was actually a stronger version of ibuprofen.

"Oh. Well, if I can't feel anything then how will you figure out what's wrong with me?"

"Simple. That's what the CAT scan is for. It will show us if anything is going awry inside your body. We will also be able to see any broken bones. I'm suspecting you don't have any because if you did you would have been screaming in agony last night, adrenaline rush or not. However we're still going to do it just to be safe."

"How long will it take?"

"Not very long," he assured me, "It's a relatively quick procedure. I'll go out to the nurse's station and have them send you up to radiology. After you get back I'll call the lab to get some blood samples." Dr. Arrington picked up the chart and walked out of the room, shutting the glass door behind him.

I noticed that as he left the door was rather quiet as it was being shut and wondered if this was how he had managed to get into the room. Something seemed off about him, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Was it the way that his smiled captivated me? Or, was it the way that he seemed to be able to hear my thoughts? Perhaps he was normal and I was just over thinking it. He appeared to have an alternate meaning behind everything he said, a certain type of inflection. 'Stop thinking about him… He's almost twice your age.' The voice inside my mind chided me and for a moment I considered laughing at the fact that I was attracted to an older guy, a much older guy. Then again I was in no position to laugh as nothing else was cheerful.

I began to grow incredibly bored just lying around with no real stimulation going on around me. My hospital room didn't have a TV which was fairly annoying. I couldn't see my phone anywhere in the vicinity of the room which meant that my parents must have it. What on earth was I supposed to do now? Lie around and continue to be bored? Stare at the walls? Sleep? No way. I felt the urge to get up and move so I looked around on the hospital bed for the remote that controls it. I quickly found it hanging off of the side of the bed and pushed the button that controlled the top of the bed, making it raise me up to where I was in a sitting position and could get up more easily.

I wondered for a moment if I should just stay put and not risk injuring myself. Since I was on morphine, I felt no pain which could be a very bad thing if I move the wrong way. This thought only lasted for half a moment before the less responsible part of my brain decided to go for it. I carefully swung my legs off of the side of the bed and made an attempt to stand up while still holding onto the blanket to try and support myself. My attempt was quickly shot down when I realized that I could not feel my legs, they had fallen asleep. I began to fall forward and so I stuck my hands out to reduce the chance of me falling on my face or on my head. Within seconds I was on the cold tiled floor beginning to cry. I was not crying because I felt pain, I was crying because of the shock. I could however feel the IV being ripped out of my arm by the fall.

"Oh!" I heard a female voice gasp. "What on earth happened?!" a nurse rushed over to me and helped me off of the floor. I hid my face in shame like a child getting caught doing something they weren't supposed to. The nurse grabbed my face with both of her hands and pulled it up so I had to look at her. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

"Yes and no."

"What happened?" she asked as she sat me back onto the bed. I was nervous. Do I tell her that I wanted to get up and move? Was I even allowed to get up? I looked down and tried to avoid meeting her gaze, I honestly felt like I had just committed a crime.

"I, uh… I felt like I needed to move, I was restless." I spoke very quickly and softly. The nurse laughed.

"Child, don't look so guilty, it's okay. I'm just glad you are okay." Her voice was warm and tender and reminded me of almost a grandmother. Then I looked at her face truly for the first time. She was black, perhaps in her mid-40s, she had a very sweet heart shaped face. Her eyes were dark brown and her lips were curved in a smile. She was chubbier than normal, but she still was very attractive.

"S…sorry." I answered and pressed my lips together in a tight line.

"I forgot to introduce myself! Oh goodness. I'm Janet, I'm a radiology nurse! I'm here to take you up to get your CAT scan." She was certainly bubbly and full of energy, perfect combination for a nurse. Wait, radiology nurse? Wow, he wasn't kidding when he said he would get the tests ordered quickly.

"Elena," I smiled back at her. "Uh I'm not sure I feel comfortable walking because uh…" I pointed to the back of the hospital gown which, although tied, revealed my underwear. Janet laughed and nodded.

"Of course, dear. Just let me go get you a wheel chair real quick." She walked out of the room and down the hall. I took this moment of solitude to reflect on the day so far. To be honest I've been through more stress in the past 24 hours than I have been in my entire life. I've passed out, been in a fire, saw all my friends die… No one person should still seem so put together, but yet here I was, no tears in sight.

"Here we are! Okay, now let's get you up to radiology!" Janet smiled and motioned for me to sit down in the wheelchair I sighed and walked over to her and slowly lowered myself into the chair. We walked, well she pushed I sat, out of the room and into the hospital hallway. We seemed to be going quite slow which gave me a chance to look around and explore outside of my room. Things seemed like any normal hospital, nurse's stations, tons of rooms, various trays of things in the hallway.

One thing that was odd to me was the people. Several of them were just shuffling around in their gown and slippers looking lost, sick, and some seemed to be afraid. It made me feel quite uneasy. Shouldn't these patients be in their rooms? Resting and not making a nurse's job harder?

"Janet," I looked directly ahead as I spoke, "Why are there patients walking around in the hallway? They're sick, they should be in bed." I pondered what her answer would be. Surprisingly it was not what I expected.

"Oh! They're psych patients! They must have gotten out of their rooms. Hang on, Elena, I have to run to the nurse's station and let them know." Wait, psych patients? We were in the psych ward? Janet scurried away and left me sitting in the chair in the middle of the hallway. People began to turn and look at me as they passed like zombies, seeming as if to say that I too would become a zombie here. My pulse scattered all over the place, my eyes were wide and my hands were shaking. Scared couldn't even begin to describe what I was feeling. It was pure, cold, dark fear.


	5. Accidents

**Hey everyone! Hope you're enjoying my story! This took a lot of time to make so please, leave a review or a comment on what you think I did well, and what I may need to improve on. You are all awesome :)**

 _"You're fine, you're in a hospital. You're okay baby-doll."_ I whispered under my breath trying to calm my rapid heartbeat. _"These patients won't hurt you, they're confused. Breathe."_ My words worked and I could feel my pulse begin to slow down. I looked down at my lap and folded my hands together trying not to make eye contact with anyone. It was actually kind of cold in this hospital, I should ask for a jacket. Curious to see what was taking so long I turned my head around trying to glance behind me, my efforts were to no avail; the people I was watching earlier were essentially disappearing back into their rooms fairly quickly. Soon enough I was alone, and I was becoming slightly annoyed at being left in random places throughout a hospital!

It may have only been 4 or 5 minutes but to me it felt like an eternity. Janet was nowhere to be seen, and I decided I would have a little fun. _"This is a bad idea. Bad bad idea."_ My heart began to race in anticipation, my hands trembling with excitement, my breath getting hitched in my throat with giddiness. I was going to launch myself down this ward in the wheel chair and try to do it super-fast. I inhaled deeply to remind myself I was just having a bit of fun, no one, except maybe me, was going to get harmed in the process. After having experienced all I had, I needed a change of pace. A little bit of safe excitement

 _"Do you want a death wish?!"_ I heard a livid voice. Thinking about it, livid would probably be an understatement. Did I really just hear that? Or is someone in the ward talking to me? _"Of course you can hear me! Jesus. You're so stupid. You're going to get hurt and I won't let you do it!_ " the voice was grating its teeth, venom and meanness spewing forth from the mouth like a cobra about to strike.

"Oh yeah?" I couldn't stop my lips from curving into a slight smile. "Watch me!" My hands gripped the arms of the wheels and they started to spin. My hands were going as fast as they could, the chair rapidly flying down through the ward. Thank god this was a long hallway! I laughed exuberantly, like a child taking in a deep breath of air after being inside so long. This was great, this was just the thril―BAM! The chair ran into the heavy metal door, and took my head with it. I felt some warm, sticky liquid running down my face. Instinctively I reached my hand up to touch the wound, noticing the pain that shot through me when I gently pressed up against where I believed the wound to be. Right there at the left front of my hairline.

I withdrew my fingers from my head and examined them carefully. Blood was definitely dripping, and quite a lot it seemed, my fingers looked like I just stuck them inside a rotting, bleeding, wounded animal. The mere sight of them made my stomach churn and I gagged, covering my mouth with my other hand. Had there of been anything in my stomach, surely it would have come up all over myself, the chair, and more than likely the door. "I'm so stupid… So stupid! Why did I say that this was a good, harmless idea?!"

 _"I warned you. Stupid little human..."_ The voice turned into a menacing whisper and slowly faded away. My heart froze. What was going on? Was someone out here with me and was just messing with me?! Who the hell do they think they're talking to?!

"Jesus Christ, Elena… What on earth have you done?!" Janet's voice raised an octave, telling me that she was starting to freak out. I looked around at the ceiling trying to find an excuse that would seem logical, however with the circumstances my list of excuses were severely lacking.

"I… I wanted to have some fun. That's all, just some fun." My voice cracked and salty tears started to mix with the blood. I looked at Janet and promptly dropped my gaze, I felt like a child being caught red-handed for drawing on the walls with a crayon. Except, this time, it was blood instead of a crayon. Janet saw someone on the opposite side of the door and shouted, motioning like a crazy person trying to get their attention. A brief moment of relief flashed across her face as she pulled the wheel chair back away from the door, so I wouldn't get hit once again.

"Well. It seems we will have to wait for the CAT scan until we can get you cleaned up." I heard Dr. Mikael click his tongue and my face reddened more from the embarrassment of having to face the man who was trying to help me. He bent down and gently palpitated my head, I tried my best not to cry out when he touched the sensitive spot. "You make a doctors work a lot harder, do you know that?" He was laughing but I couldn't be sure whether he was being sarcastic. There was something in his eyes that had changed, they seemed almost red to her. "Janet?"

"Yes, doctor?" she answered reluctantly

"You can go back up to radiology for right now, I think it may be a good while before I can send her up."

"But maybe I could―" Janet froze momentarily as Dr. Mikael stood up and looked her in the eyes, his mouth in a hard line, and his eyes intensely focused on hers.

"Thank you, Janet. Come on Elena, we need to take you back to your room. I've got to fix up your new wound." His tone was curt. Janet simply nodded and walked out of the doors I just hit, heading back up to radiology like she was told. It almost appeared as though she wanted to stay with me. They locked eyes, she obeyed. Huh… Wish I could have that effect on people.

"I'm so sorry. It was an accident I was just trying to entertain myself…" I held my gaze down as he pushed me back to my room, he didn't respond back. I had a feeling that he was very upset and that I should probably just shut up before I make him even more upset.

"Vicki, you need to watch the patients more. Make sure they stay in their rooms. That's twice this week you have left your post. One more time and I'm afraid I will have to write you up and take this matter to the human resources department." There was a brief pause as Vicki tried to speak but she didn't get her chance. "Call the cleaning department and have them send someone up to clean the mess near the door. If the blood stays there much longer it will coagulate and be extremely satisfyi―disgusting to deal with." Dr. Mikael definitely wasn't too pleased with me, and he was taking it out on the staff. Vicki reluctantly nodded, not meeting his gaze as she picked up the phone.

He wheeled me into the room and set me in the middle of it, locking the wheels of the chair. I think that he was afraid I would do something and try to hurt him or myself. He briefly walked out of the room and came back in, wheeling a tray full of weird instruments with him. Some of them were pretty obvious; gauze, medical tape, a needle next to a bottle of fluid, a bag of what appeared to be a spool of stitches and a pair of mini scissors. I couldn't figure out what the rest of his tray had considering I had never been around a medical setting except in the third grade when I fell down and scraped it so badly I had to go to the nurse and they wanted to send me home.

"Now. I'm going to say this one time, Elena, and one time only. Do not do anything that you're not told to do. Things like this happen and people get hurt. I understand you were trying to have fun, but this was not the correct type of fun to be having when you're already in medical distress." He was chiding me as he squirted the saline into the wound, flushing it out and pressing the gauze against it to help control the bleeding. I was helpless, I couldn't even begin to think of what I should say to him.

"Yes, sir." Was all I managed to mumble, the guilt creeping over me like a thick mist creeps through the forest.

"You're going to feel a pinch, but then you shouldn't be able to feel anything where I inject the anesthetic. This should allow me to stitch the wound up quickly and without any added stress on your part." Dr. Mikael looked away from me as he turned the bottle upside down to draw the solution out. I watched with odd fascination. Why hold it upside down? Why not hold it normally? My eyes widened as he withdrew the needle from the bottle. Oh god. That's big.

"Please, no." I whimpered, tensing my body up. I didn't want to be stuck with that needle.

"Close your eyes, and count to three with me. Okay?" He dropped his voice to a softer more soothing tone. I took a deep breath and squeezed my eyes shut.

"Ready? One, two, three!" he went to three before I could get to two. I felt the needle pierce the skin and the burning sensation, too terrified to open my eyes. I grabbed the arms of my wheelchair and clenched my teeth together to fight back a scream. "It's going to burn a little, it's completely normal, and it should go away by the time I'm finished with this sentence!" The burning sensation stopped and there was no more throbbing pain from around the injury site. Slowly I made each finger release its death grip on the arm of the wheelchair.

"Can I open my eyes now?" I pleaded, squeezing them so tight that they began to hurt. Dr. Mikael laughed.

"Of course you can. In fact it would probably do you good. I like to talk to my patients while I'm stitching them up. It eases the tension of both parties." He smiled and had already threaded the smaller needle as I opened my eyes.

"Can I ask you a question then?" My voice still showed a little bit of reluctance. I'm not sure I wanted to know the answer.

"Of course."

"Why am I…?" I paused trying to think of a way to explain my question, without sounding like an airhead. I was hoping he would interject, but he didn't. He just waited for my response as he stitched my back together.

"Hmm?" he cocked his eyebrow, which told me he was just as curious as I was.

"Why am I in the psychiatric ward?" There was silence, and Dr. Mikael pondered for about half of a second.

"I wouldn't call it a psychiatric ward. It has much more color and freedoms than a ward would. It's called, for lack of a better word, the head injury unit. A lot of these people had extreme accidents that damaged their brain so badly that they are deemed psychotic and essentially wait here until either the family, if he has any, or the state can find a place where they will be safe."

"Head injury unit? Well that seems silly, I've been in this unit, and I didn't have a head injury until now."

"You were moved here from the ER when you started showing a pulse rate. We did not know the extent of your injuries, so we put you here for safety reasons. Yes, before you ask, your parents consented."

"But then why were the patients needing to be 'locked up' into their rooms?"

"This is because they are a danger to themselves and to the other patients. We don't lock every door, we occasionally let them roam around the unit, but only a few at a time. Unfortunately, Vicki wasn't paying attention."

"How bad do you think my injury is?" I asked nervously, surprised that he wasn't done stitching me up yet. He looked down at his lap trying to figure out what to say.

"Well, you certainly were not going fast enough for any extreme damage. You certainly did managed to create quite a gash on your head. As for concussions, if that is what you're hinting to, no. I don't believe you have a concussion. You are alert and talking, signs we don't immediately see in a concussed patient… There!" Dr. Mikael smiled as he put the thread and needle back into the bag. "Okay, so, you're patched up, good as new. Or rather as good as you could possibly be right now. I still want you to go back upstairs for your scan, and this time I will personally be escorting you, lest we have another fiasco." His whole demeanor had changed. He went from angry to calm and understanding. He had patience, patience that I obviously didn't have.

"Um can I get another gown? And another wheelchair? These are both soaked with blood." I prayed that he would let me change before I went up there.

"Sure. Put your gown in the waste bin right there, and I will step outside the door until you're ready."

"But what about―"

"There is a second gown in the bottom drawer, underneath the sink. Please do hurry, this has taken a big chunk of my day." He promptly walked out of the room and stood with his back to the door. I kept my eye on him as I slowly walked over to the waste basket and discarded of the now blood soiled gown. Luckily for me the bin was right next to the sink, so I didn't have to take my eye off him. He may be a good doctor and a good man, but I don't trust anyone to see me not clothed.

After slipping the gown on, I walked over to the door and knocked on it, signaling I was dressed and ready to go up to radiology. Dr. Mikael came back in and I glanced at the floor. "Well then, are you going to sit or would you like to walk to radiology? I'll leave it up to you."

"What about the wheelchair?"

"Unfortunately we don't have another one in this unit right now. But I will have it cleaned and sanitized either when we leave or when we get back. Depending on what you choose, of course."

Was that even a question? "Uh. Um… Fine, I'll take the wheelchair. I don't think my legs are steady enough yet to walk a long way." I reluctantly sat in the wheelchair, still cringing at the incident.

"As you wish, Elena." He stood behind the chair and held it steady as I sat down. "Unlock your wheels please."

"How?"

"The lever right there." Oh. Well, that was easy


	6. Scans

It was a pretty silent trip up to the radiology department, neither Dr. Mikaelson nor I said anything. I tried to make small talk, but clearly, he was slipping back into his not so nice mood again. I need to remember to talk to that nurse, Vicki, and ask her if he's always this moody. As he rolled me down the hallways, taking turn after turn, I had nothing else to do but look around. There were a lot of moms and dads walking around, seemingly in great distress. Were their kids okay? Did something happen? Does their kid have cancer? My mind pondered the thought until I saw an old man weeping, a nurse and doctor on either side of him. My breath got caught in my throat. He must've just lost his wife. The woman he loved, for who knows however long, taken from him.

"Uh… Where exactly are we?" My voice had shrunk to nothing more than a whisper, so quiet that I couldn't even be sure I heard myself correctly.

"This is the ICU. I hate to have to bring you through here, but our elevators are being worked on right now. Only one is in service and it goes up to the OR. You were in here for a while, that is, until Dr. Mason revived you." He was very nonchalant and immediately quickened his pace.

"I was… dead?" It took a moment for the word to fully set in.

"Yes, about four minutes. We got lucky, someone must really like you." He was smiling, I could hear it in his voice. The thought of me being dead for so long sent a shiver of fear down my spine. He continued on, "I was quite surprised that you suffered no brain injuries. Most of the time once people are in cardiac arrest, the brain doesn't get enough blood. People wake up, sometimes, with either speech, vision, or movement problems. And then of course, you have those who never wake up."

"How do you deal with it? I mean, losing patients and facing death on a daily basis? Does it ever get to you? Like, emotionally?" I pressed, genuinely curious as to how he dealt with loss.

"You see, Elena, you learn after a while to distance yourself from the things you face every day. Death becomes routine and you don't necessarily stop caring, you just learn to accept it. Death is inevitable, it happens to everyone. Isn't that what they say, the circle of life?" Dr. Mikaelson was surprisingly calm, a little bit too calm, it was like he had been doing this for a long time, much longer than the age he appeared to be to me. My curiosity got the best of me, I knew it was rude to ask anyone about their age, but I couldn't help it.

"Dr. Mikaelson, how long have you been doing this?" I asked sheepishly.

To my surprise, he laughed. "A long time. Much longer than you've been born." Me? He's been doing this more than 17 years? But how did he look so young?

"There's no way!" I exclaimed. There was no way that he was not lying to me. "You're not even like 30!" His laughter ceased and he grew very quiet and sullen again. Uh oh, had I touched a nerve? Did I tread onto territory that I wasn't supposed to? I must have, because he didn't respond. The mood in the air changed from relaxed to tense.

"Well. Here we are." He finally said to me, the awkwardness practically rolling off him. I looked up at the set of double doors, and saw a sign up above them that read "Radiology" in bright green letters and a yellow "No entry beyond this point" caution sign. "I'm going to leave you here and let the radiologists do the scans, then once they are done I'll have one of them take you back down to your room."

"Oh, okay. Do they know that I'm here? Like, did you tell them?" I was kind of hoping he would've forgotten to so I wouldn't have to get these scans done. I'm claustrophobic and I hate feeling trapped.

"I just paged them," he smiled as he clipped his pager back on to his belt. "Please, try not to damage yourself any further, Elena." Dr. Mikaelson made his serious face for a minute but I knew he was half-joking. He began to walk away and I noticed that his pager went off again. He grabbed it immediately and what looked like with so much force that I was surprised he didn't break it. I've never seen a man run so fast, I swear it was like I blinked and the next second he was gone. I wonder what was so important.

Speaking of wondering, why didn't he take me into radiology instead of leaving me out here in the hallway where I could do so much damage to myself! I laughed at that. It did seem that I had been a danger magnet the past few days. I must've actually been laughing aloud because I turned around in my chair to notice an old lady looking at me like I was insane. I immediately blushed, my face turning a dark shade of crimson as the hot blood pooled in my cheeks. "Oh, uh…. R-re-really funny joke I was telling myself..." I stuttered trying to make it seem like I wasn't insane.

"Oh!" the little old lady's face brightened up and she laughed the most delicate and quiet laugh I had ever heard. "I do that all the time, sometimes there's no better jokester than yourself!" Uh… I guess? "I'm Eleanor, I'm the radiology nurse. You must be…" she flipped through her chart hurriedly. "Ah! There you are. You must be Elena?" I nodded. "Well, come on back and we'll get you set up for your CAT scan." She grabbed my wheel chair and pushed me through the double doors. Oh boy. This was going to be fun.

"Um…." I shyly spoke to Eleanor, playing with my hands in my lap. I didn't have time to finish before she spoke.

"Yes, Elena? Is everything alright?" She spoke in hushed tones, and I was concerned as to why.

"I'm just afr—nothing, it's nothing" I assured her and placed a fake smile on my face. She looked at me cautiously. Trying to show her I really was fine, I stood up. "Okay, can we get this over with?"

She nodded and motioned me to lie down on the bed. Only a thing blanket covered it, making it easy for me to feel the cold plastic surface as I sat down and laid back, my heart pounding in my chest. I have never had a scan before, but the machine was terrifying. I could feel my breathing begin to escalate and I tried my hardest to keep it down.

"Okay, now what's going to happen is you need to lie still, and the machine will rotate around you. The bed will move backward and then forwards, to scan your body. I'm going to go behind the little room over there. There is a communication module I'll use to instruct you what to do." Eleanor smiled and waved at me as she stepped into the room. My breath hitched in my throat as I heard the machine beep to life. I quickly closed my eyes and tried to lay my body still.

"I need you to lie perfectly still. Relax your breathing." A new voice spoke over the module. I couldn't tell whether it was male or female. It sounded a little bit deep, so maybe male? Whoever it was, the voice was very soothing. I felt the bed move back, and I opened my eyes for a quick peek at what was going on.

The machine was rotating around my body, making clicking and whirring noises. "Excellent job, Elena, you're doing fine. Next I need you to take a deep breath and hold it until I tell you to breathe." Not breathe? For even a second? What kind of torture is this?! I did as I was instructed though, and held my breath as the bed moved back. The machine was no longer around my head, the bed had moved me so it was around my chest. I could feel my lungs start to burn in my attempt to not breathe, I needed oxygen, now. I let out the air that had been trapped in my chest. Gasping and choking on the oxygen.

"Doing great Elena!" Eleanor cheered me on with her sweet old lady voice. Her doing so caused me to picture my grandmother. My grandmother was an amazing woman. She raised my mom by herself after my grandpa left for the war. Unfortunately, he never made it back… From what mom told me, grandma was beyond devastated. She always told me grandma died of a broken heart. I understood why though, after facing a monumental loss… Honestly, I still wasn't sure how I hadn't died of stress.

"Alright, we're all done. Elena, you made it out alive." The voice came back over the module, and I instantly knew it had to be male. "Did everything go okay?"

"Yes. I'm fine." I lied through my teeth. Hell no I wasn't fine! I was just nearly choked to death in that stupid little machine! I wasn't sure whether I was feeling anger or fear, maybe it was a combination of the two. Eleanor came back out from the small room and pulled the bed forward so the machine wasn't over my body anymore. Suddenly I felt my blood run cold and my chest began to tighten. The hair on the back of my neck and my arms were raised as I was overcome with the feeling of not being able to move. Panic attack.

"Elena, dear, are you alright?" Eleanor shook my shoulder and felt my rigidity. It was like something clicked in her brain. She got down low and whispered softly into my ears. "Breathe. In through your nose, out through your mouth. You're okay, it's over. Relax," She stood up and began to smooth my hair in a motherly-loving kind of way. I tried to tell myself that she was right, but it was like every nerve in my body was screaming in terror.

Another doctor then stepped out of the room where Eleanor just emerged. He was much younger than I expected him to be, but he had brilliant grey eyes and glowing blonde hair. His badge read "Dr. Felix". "Eleanor," he paused "What on earth is going on?" Eleanor didn't respond as she kept smoothing my hair. The doctor came closer and analyzed the situation. Meanwhile I was still trying to force myself to breathe.

"I'm afraid she's having a panic attack doctor. What do we do?" Eleanor moved her hand to rest on my forehead, a strong tone of worry in her voice.

"First of all, Eleanor, we're not supposed to deal with this. But, what we need to do is put the clip on her finger and get her vital signs." Dr. Felix was very stern, he seemed to have little patience. "The monitor is over there, and while you're at it, page Dr. Mikaelson. We need him to get up here ASAP."

"Yes doctor, right away." Eleanor went to fetch the monitor and Dr. Felix placed his index and middle finger along a pulse point on my wrist. I could feel my heart beating a million miles a minute. I just wanted to scream and plead for help, but my body was so paralyzed that I couldn't breathe, let alone speak. "Elena," he spoke softly to me, "You are fine. The machine is an inanimate object, it cannot cause harm to you. Your doctor is going to be up here within the next few minutes to give you something to help, but in the mean time I need you to breathe." It was at this point that he looked into my eyes and I felt the ice covering my body begin to thaw. I could take a couple shallow breaths and move my fingers.

"Here you are." Eleanor murmured as she placed a clamp on my finger. Within seconds I could hear the frantic beeping of the monitor begin to settle slightly. "Oh my. Her O2 stats are at 94! Doctor we have to do something." But Dr. Felix didn't seem worried at all.

"It's because she hasn't been breathing, it'll go up–" He cut himself off. "Ah, Jesse, how nice of you to come up here for your patient." His tone was biting and sarcastic. I wasn't sure if he was mad because he didn't like Dr. Mikaelson or because he took an eternity to get here.

"Phil." He nodded curtly. "Elena, I'm going to give you something to relax." Dr. Mikaelson pulled out a syringe from his pocket and took the cap off, pushing the plunger slightly to get rid of any air bubbles. "This is going to go into your IV line, so no injections into your skin." He placed it into the end of my IV and then put the cap back on. He threw the syringe away in a plastic bin and instantly I felt my body start to relax. The beeping of the machine slowed down considerably, and I heard Eleanor mutter in excitement as my O2 stats went up. I exhaled and tried to mutter thank you to Dr. Mikaelson, but I couldn't find the words to speak as I noticed the medicine pulling me deeper and deeper into a state of relaxation. He then lifted me off the bed, holding me in his arms as he walked across the room to put me in a wheel chair. His arms were actually really comfortable. I grasped onto his white coat to prevent him from putting me down.

"Elena, let go." I grimaced and loosened my grip, allowing him to set me down. I started to giggle when I realized that there was as seatbelt.

"Afraid I'll fall out again?" For some reason I thought it was so funny. Dr. Mikaelson pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a small disbelieving laugh. I honestly forgot that we weren't back in my room downstairs.

"Next time your patient has a phobia it would be nice to know. Good day." Dr. Felix abruptly turned around walked back into the office. I cringed and looked over at Eleanor, feeling extremely sorry for what she has to deal with…

"Thank you, I really appreciate all that you've done for me. Thank you for attempting to keep me calm," My speech came out slurred and I heard Dr. Mikaelson laugh. Eleanor looked at him, then looked back at me and gave me a tiny smile then squeezed my hand; acknowledging my thanks. Then he turned me around and started to wheel me out of the CAT scan room.

"Elena, it's okay, you can go to sleep now. We're going back to your room."

"Back to my room? But I don't wanna. Let's go get some ice cream, my throat hurts." I grimaced. I was starting to have fun! Why go back to my room in the "head injury" unit, all the basket cases were there. I wasn't a basket case, just a girl who went through some deep emotional trauma.

"Your parents are waiting for you, I'm sure one of them will head down to the cafeteria and get you some ice cream." I could tell that Dr. Mikaelson was trying his best to maintain his cool. "You know, I think I might have either given you too much or not enough of the medication," he observed, "you should be asleep or at least deeply relaxed by now." I stopped listening, I was beginning to get angry. What the hell were these medicines doing to my emotions?


	7. Again

"Mom, I'm fine!" I groaned for what had to have been the thousandth time as she placed her hand on my forehead. She had always been concerned for me, but I was afraid now that it would magnify ten times over.

"Miranda, stop." My dad reached out and grabbed my mom's wrist trying to pull her back down into the chair away from me. I silently thanked him.

"Grayson, what do you expect me to do?! First our daughter is nearly killed in a house fire, then she passes out at the doctor's office and dies! THEY HAD TO BRING HER BACK." She was livid. I cringed knowing that my mom was going to remain like this for the next ten years or so. She continued. "And another thing, I don't recall you rushing to her aid! It took you almost half an hour to get here. Half an hour! Do you NOT care about our daughter? Or do I need to start calling her MY daughter?" I looked at the two of them, my mouth gaping in shock at what she had just said to my father. Dad was usually a calm person, but yell at him for no reason or place blame on him when it was not his fault. I had to think of something to distract them.

"Mom," I coughed out weakly, playing much sicker than I felt.

"What is it baby?" the anger faded from her face and concern once again took over.

"Can you please go get me some ice cream and juice from the cafeteria? My throat really hurts, I need something cold." I put on my puppy dog face.

"Anything for you 'Lena." She smiled and kissed my forehead. I watched her walk away and saw my dad breathe out a sigh of relief

"Thank you, honey. I know your mom is stressed and worried but I was about to say something I would have regretted." I nodded in acknowledgement. The last thing I need right now is to handle arguing parents.

I sighed and leaned my head back onto the bed. It had been about an hour since they brought me back from CAT scan, and thankfully Dr. Mikaelson didn't tell her about my panic attack. I honestly just wanted to get out of the hospital. Whatever happened, happened. I just wanted to go home to my bed and sleep for a few days. I was sort of anxious to go back to school, even though I knew my best friends wouldn't be there.

"Elena, what is it?" My dad reached over and grabbed my hand, I realized I was crying. I looked down at my hands afraid to answer. I didn't want to worry him and make it seem like I was a victim. I hate being the victim.

"Nothing dad," I murmured softly, trying to ebb the flow of the tears.

"Elena," He pressed. Why was everyone forcing me to talk about how I was feeling?

"I don't want to talk about it!" I snapped at him and my eyes went wide as I realized what I had done. I just yelled at my father, the man who had never yelled or scolded me, only praise ever came from him. He grew quiet but continued to hold my hand. "Dad," I choked out, "I'm sorry I just feel so frustrated and hurt and scared and unsure of my future now." He nodded in understanding, and I only felt the guilt grow stronger.

"I'm back honey." Mom smiled as she entered the room, a small bowl of vanilla ice cream and a cup of apple juice in her hands. I wasn't sure if she noticed the mood of the room shift.

"I'm sorry mom, I kind of lost my appetite. I'll eat it later."

"Oh but honey it will be all melted, and the juice will be warm."

"Mom, no. I just want to sleep, I'm tired." I tried to raise my voice to get her to see that I was serious.

"Okay honey, dad and I are gonna go outside and talk." She eyed him and he rolled his eyes, sensing that he was about to get the fifth degree. I waved both of them out as I turned over on my side. I was finally free to cry without anyone watching or asking if I was okay. Honestly, I just needed a really good cry, with no interruptions.

As I cried I covered my mouth with my hand to muffle the sobs to not arouse suspicion. I knew my parents were fighting because of the stuff our whole family has been through the past couple of days. I knew it wasn't my fault, but it felt like it was. To be honest I was starting to wish I hadn't made it out of that fire. At least then I wouldn't have to survive knowing all the people I cared about except for my parents were gone. Going back to school would be a nightmare, yes there would be people who blamed me, but that wasn't what I was afraid of. I'm more afraid of people asking me if I'm doing okay and then I break down crying as they stand there awkwardly looking to escape the situation. I'll be so far behind, and it's only the beginning of my junior year! I'll never catch up, it is going to be so hard. I gritted my teeth at the thought. Maybe I should just be homeschooled, or do that online school thing Michelle told me about a while back.

The second I said her name I felt my chest tighten. The tears flowed faster now, my hand doing nothing to contain my sobs. Poor Michelle…My beautiful, stupid, witty, funny, amazing best friend... Her life was cut short, but why? She had so much potential. She was pretty much guaranteed a scholarship to a prestigious Ivy League school. Not only because she was incredibly smart, much smarter than I was, but also because she played three or four different sports, at the same time. I never joined her because I couldn't stand sports, except for cheer. We had been cheerleaders since we were seven, constantly attached at the hip and having competitions to see who could do the most backflips in a row… So many memories good and bad came running through my mind, they helped the tears dissipate. I smiled softly and closed my eyes tightly, hoping I would dream of her.

I awoke confused in a meadow. Where was I? Wherever it was, it was simply beautiful. I looked around and noticed trees on the outskirts, wrapping all the way around it was like this was a secluded space in the woods. The sunlight shone down warming my skin and I smiled, happy to be away from the hospital room. There was an incredible sense of peacefulness. I noticed that I wasn't in the gown from the hospital anymore, I was dressed in a light blue cotton dress that fanned out slightly at the bottom. I smiled and twirled, feeling just like a kid again. The hairs on the back of my neck rose. Uh oh. Someone else was here.

"Well doesn't someone look happy?" I recognized the voice. I spun around to see the same guy I had seen when I nearly died. His hair was disheveled and he held a smirk on his face that was enough to make any girl melt. I noticed that his gorgeous blue eyes were filled with an emotion I couldn't quite put my finger on, but it seemed positive.

"You." I breathed out. I remembered how I had been so angry and bitchy with him last time we met, I kind of felt guilty.

"What?" His expression changed. He was confused. "You know who I am?" He pressed his lips together in a thin line. It made me slightly uncomfortable. Was I supposed to not remember him?

"I can't remember your name. But you were there with me when I almost died, you… You pulled me out of the house and saved my life." My words came out in a whisper. I could see him tense up, obviously expecting my wrath. He began to speak but I held my hand up. "Stop whatever it is you're expecting." He locked eyes with me and I found it hard to look away, as much as I wanted to.

"I'm sorry for going all bitch on you last time we met. I didn't understand, I still don't," I explained "But I'm not going to thank you. Because of you my life will be miserable, I'll be broken for the rest of my life." Tears began to well in my eyes and I focused really hard on not letting them fall. "For whatever reason fate, if you can even call it that, has decided that our paths need to cross. I'm fairly sure you're still a figment of my imagination, but whatever helps me cope I guess." Something flashed in his eyes. Anger? Sadness? Both?

"Dammit Elena," he growled, "I am not in your imagination. I am as real as anyone else." Yeah, definitely anger. "You don't seem to understand what's going on here."

"You're right, I don't!" I yelled in frustration. "So please, do enlighten me! I swear to god if you raise your voice at me one more time, I'll kill you."

He didn't seem phased by my comment, I saw a brief flash of amusement on his face. "You couldn't kill me if you tried. Now, if you'd stop interrupting, we may actually get somewhere." I could tell he was trying extremely hard to control his tone of voice.

"Explain then. You've got five minutes."

"Okay, for whatever reason, I felt that I had to save you. I don't know why. I shouldn't even have saved you." Ouch. That hurt. "I know I should've saved Michelle, I know how close you two were. But I couldn't, Elena. I tried but once I got you out of the house I couldn't go back inside."

"What do you mean you couldn't go back inside?" I narrowed my eyes and he paused, thinking of an explanation.

"I don't know Elena, I just couldn't. I'm sorry but you were my first priority." He placed his hand upon my cheek and I felt the butterflies in my stomach. I know I should hate him but I can't. I shouldn't let him touch me, but I couldn't help it. When he touched me, the anger melted away. "Please, try to understand. Stop fighting this. I can hear your heartbeat speed up whenever you look at me."

I swallowed hard and closed my eyes, willing my heart to calm. "I don't even know you. You're not real." I repeated to myself softly over and over again.

"Elena, look at me. Please." His voice sounded strained. Against my better judgement, I opened my eyes only to see our faces were only a few inches apart. My heart leapt. I could almost feel his lips against mine. "I'll prove to you I'm real." He murmured

Then, before I could protest, his lips were on mine. My heart exploded and I could feel a pulsing sensation throughout my body. All I could see, hear, and feel was him. His lips were soft, gentle. I kissed him back fervently, wanting more of him. He smiled against my lips and began kissing me harder, slowly running his tongue against my bottom lip. I moaned softly but kept my lips closed, I wasn't ready for that quite just yet. My mind was collapsing into pieces as I felt him snake his arm around my waist, bowing my body against his. I felt a strange sensation forming in my lower abdomen. I didn't want him to stop. It felt so good, so right.

He pulled away and I whined softly in response. A smile formed on his face. "You need to breathe Elena," He reminded me and I blushed a deep crimson color and hid my face in his chest. I took a couple deep breaths to steady myself and come back to reality and solid ground. He lightly gripped my chin in his hand and forced me to look up at him. "Do you believe that I'm real now?" He questioned, clearly eager for a response. I knew I couldn't just blurt out an answer, I had to think for a minute. I wanted so badly for him to be real, and with these feelings he just brought up from deep within me, it was hard to think otherwise.

However, my mind was cruel. It always seemed to be looking for another way to hurt me. Would it really go this far though? How could my mind imagine someone, something, so perfect? "Elena?" He tightened his grip on my chin to get me to focus.

"I want to believe so," I squeaked out, fearing this would make him angry. "But this is all in my head, in a dream, this isn't an actual place." I desperately tried to explain. His blue eyes pierced into mine and I swallowed hard, he sure knew how to make a girl nervous.

"Damn, I figured this would happened." He let go of my chin and stepped back from me, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. I looked at him helplessly, noticing how frustrated he sounded. Suddenly he said something that shocked me. "It's okay, I can see why you think that. This is technically in your head, but you're not imagining it. Dreams can be very real, you know." I cocked my head to the side, confused as to what he was getting to. "It'll only be a few more days, we'll meet and everything will be right with the world, Elena. I promise."

"Oh no, you're not going to disappear again." I looked at him exasperated. He just flipped my world upside down, I want, no I need, more of his kisses. He smiled softly, a sad look in his eyes and I knew what he was going to say.

"I have to," he placed his hand upon my cheek and kissed my forehead briefly. "Trust me, it'll be okay." I looked up at him with tears in my eyes, not wanting him to disappear. I considered literally pleading and begging him not to go, but I knew I couldn't control what he did if he was real. That's it. The ultimate test!

"You will stay." I commanded him. "I need you to stay here." He laughed a hard, frustrated laugh.

"It doesn't work like that, princess." He smirked and I felt weak in the knees. "Goodbye Elena."


End file.
